Saturday, June 10, 2006

Clinging to the past ...

When will I learn to move on in life ? why is it so hard for me ? especially if the past is back to your present but still has no future ... all its going to become is another past ... how can you ignore it completely so as not to hold on to it ? In fact why do I hold on to everything so tightly ? so tightly that it hurts ... Is it a mistake that I give my 100% - my everything ... I always can see that the path I choose is the one which is gonna bring nothing but sorrows and there is no light at the end of the tunnel and still I choose that path ... why do I do that ? always ? why do I always see that hope or should I say I want to see that ray of hope and so I go searching for it in complete darkness .. why ? why ?

How do I tell myself not to look back ... how .. I dont know the answer to that ... I really dont know .. how do I tell myself to be more practical in life ... think with head and not with heart ... The funny thing is the more I try to tell myself to ignore - the more it seems to be the wrong thing to do .. my mind just doesnt accept it .. and it always overpowers my actions ... I hate it .. wish I could just .. u know .. just learn from the past and not repeat the mistakes ... but the worst thing is I enjoy it .. enjoy being in the past though knowing that its gonna bring tears with it ...
I hate to give up ... I keep trying till the last minute .. try to fight the lost battle ...

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2 Comments:

Blogger ~The Dream Catcher~ said...

The past seals the present and the future is decided by the past. Yet we choose to dwell more in the past and the future than the present. I know there's nothing I can say that may matter to you, but all I can say is, I understand and I know what is it like. Hope you fight your way out and realize that you dont really enjoy that pain, you just need more joy to replace that empty feeling.

June 11, 2006 2:35 AM  
Blogger Aniruddha said...

Thanks Pragni .. I guess time is the healer ...

June 11, 2006 7:44 PM  

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